Living without Fear
Have you ever met someone whose default setting seems to be “Drive fast and take chances”? Some people seem to live for the next adrenaline boost. Makes me wonder if they have an adrenaline addiction. I don’t think they live this way because they don’t feel afraid. I suspect rather that it is because feeling fear gives them some kind of “high” that they crave…almost like an energy drink.
Understanding Fear
I believe there is a kind of fear that is healthy as well as a type of fear that is crippling. There may be similarities between the two, but they have profoundly different effects on our health and well-being. Healthy fear serves to protect us from harm. We learn to avoid things that have hurt us in the past. When we encounter situations which remind us of past pain it often triggers a feeling of fear. This is not unnatural and is typically not unhealthy. It is when we continually live in fear, that it becomes unhealthy as it prevents us from living to our full potential, or in extreme cases from really living at all.
The Root of all Fear
At the root of all our fear is the fear of death. How we think about death and dying typically will dictate whether we live in fear of death or make our peace with it. The one thing we can all be certain of is that that 100% of people eventually die, and that knowledge can be terrifying if we are uncertain of what lies on the other side of death.
A Brief History of Fear
Was there ever a time when you had no fear? Think about that for a moment. I have very few rather sporadic memories of my early childhood. The memories I do have make me think that it was life that taught me to be fearful of certain things. For instance, falling into a pig pen from a hayloft in a barn, taught me to be fearful of heights. My parents taught me to be fearful of strangers, particularly if they were not from our familiar German Mennonite culture.
Where Fear Began
The Bible first records human fear in the book of Genesis 3:10. This takes place right after the first man and first woman disobey their Creator by eating from the forbidden tree. Prior to that event, the man and woman walked with God in the garden each day and had no knowledge of what fear was. It was only after taking that step of disobedience that they hid themselves when they heard God coming, and when he asked why they hid, the man replies, “I was AFRAID because I was naked.” Apparently prior to the forbidden fruit event they didn’t know they were naked, and did’t care, and had no fear…of anything. After eating the fruit they were reminded of the warning that God had given them earlier… that the moment they ate of it they would “surely die”. That sneaky snake that talked them into eating the fruit had deceptively assured them that they would not die, but rather that they would become like God knowing good from evil…which was partially true.
Why We Feel Fear
There are several reasons why we feel fear. Most have to do with death, one of the most prominent being the uncertainty of what lies beyond death’s door. Is there an afterlife? If so what is it like? If not, then what? We have all kinds of theories based on testimonies of people having near death experiences. Most of these involve moving toward some sort of light source, a few involve testimonies of terror and darkness. The one thing that seems consistent in all of them is the idea that we carry on in some form of existence in a spiritual realm of some kind. It is this uncertainty of knowing what lies ahead that prompts the fear, and we all have different ways of processing that fear.
Processing Fear
Interestingly it would seem most people handle the fear of death by ignoring it, which while somewhat effective, doesn’t seem like the wisest choice to me. We see this most often in the way people behave at funerals. We find so many different ways to talk around the reality of death without being honest about it. We say things like, “He or she is in a better place”. Okay…maybe that’s true. If it is where is that place? What is that place? What makes it better? Or in the case of one who dies after a lengthy illness we might say, “At least they are not suffering any more”, but do we really know that? Or do just we say these things in a feeble attempt to placate our fears. When we manage our fear in this fashion we are essentially deceiving ourselves by choosing to believe that which we would like to be true, rather than honestly facing what we know to be true. I am thinking there must be a better way to process our fears.
Overcoming Fear
To truly overcome fear, we need to try to understand the truth about how fear works, and then try to find the most effective antidote. There is a verse in the Bible in the Apostle John’s first letter to the churches, where he writes:
“There is no fear in love, but perfect love cast out all fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.” (1 John 4:18)
What is this love that John speaks of here? Is it merely a human emotion he is referencing? Or is there more to it? A little earlier in the same chapter, John writes:
“let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.” (1 John 4:7-8)
Wait a minute! “God IS love!” If we put these verses together, what I hear the Apostle saying is that it is actually the presence of God in our lives, that makes us fearless. So if we want to live fearlessly in this manner, we then need to understand what it means to live in the presence of God. The “how” of this is where it seems a little tricky, but is actually quite simple. The tricky part is that it is not anything we can control. We have zero control over the presence of God. The only control he gives us, is the choice to resist or accept his presence. What makes it simple, is that if we choose to accept him – he does the rest.
The Process
When we choose to accept God’s presence in our lives, it changes us from the inside. Being “perfected in love” is both an instantaneous event as well as a process. It could perhaps be likened to building a campfire. There is a process of gathering tinder and fuel, before there is any flame. There is also process after the fire is ignited of tending and adding fuel to keep it burning. Then there is that almost magical point of ignition when the flint meets the steel or when the match is struck. Before that moment there was no flame…after that moment everything changes. Suddenly there is heat, there light, there is fire and…the fear is gone…only love remains.
God may give us some control in the processes before and after ignition, but that point of ignition is entirely dependent on him. He alone controls the timing of that moment. He controls when it happens, where it happens, and if it happens. If you have ever built campfires, you also know that no two fires are ever the same…they will have many similarities, but every one will be unique in some way. In the same way, when God, by his divine providence, ignites that flame of his presence within us, there will be similarities: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, self-control…but every experience will also be vastly different. For some of us it may begin as if God used a bucket of gasoline to start the fire…a spark and a WOOF and fire everywhere! For others there was a little spark…then a flame, and then maybe just smoke for a while…and a few glowing embers, then more flames, then more smoke, but over time, an established fire, perhaps never all that large, but consistently burning. The fact that they are different doesn’t make one way better or worse…as long as there is fire…it’s all good.
The Bottom Line
Living a fearless life then is not so much about courage, or the absence of being afraid. Living a fearless life begins with overcoming the fear of death. When the fear of death is overcome, love and peace can reign in our life…even in the midst of life’s raging storms. Two thousand years ago, when God walked this earth in the form of the man Jesus Christ, he said to his followers, “For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it” (Luke 9:24) I believe the key to living a fearless life is letting go of trying to control it, and putting our trust entirely in God to complete that which he created us to do. It’s highly counter intuitive…it goes against everything the world around us is screaming at us to do…but it is the only path I know of to a truly fearless life.
Very well written and very logical👍 You seem to highlight choices as being the substance that determines the presence of God. So the decision the first man and woman made to eat the fruit setup a two tier system…the one they had before and the one they had after. ? The one before could be called grace…the one after could be called the law. Two levels. No one after could get back to the first level and many tried, until Christ came. Christ was born first level like the first couple, but he finished life in the first level. When you talk about fear and the effect on peoples lives you are correct that it affects people differently. But is fear not fear? The root … John says in perfect love there is no fear. Can perfect love be found in level 2 under the law? I submit that your last paragraph sounds like a 180 deg. turn. The emphasis I felt throughout your very well written article was on fear but also decisions and choices. In the last paragraph you talk about learning how to let go of the need to control. In my understanding, control and discipline are what is needed to make sound decisions. So what happens to your decisions if you let go❓🙏🤗
There is a sense where the presence of God in the universe is always everywhere at all times…in that sense his presence is unavoidable . His presence within us is a different level of presence. This is the life changing, fear eliminating presence that we are given to option to reject if we choose to.
In regard to grace and law being two tier system, how about I tackle that one in a new post?